photo by Hannah Drews
Everyone said the third trimester lasts forever. Everyone said the last ten weeks or so would feel like an eternity. So far, everyone's lied. The clock is counting down like crazy. With only eight more seven days stretches to go, the second week into our single digit countdown, I started to worry that I'm not prepared enough. Now, I'm aware one can never be fully mentally ready for what's to come, for that part I won't even try. I'm just talking logistically, organizationally, hospital-bag-packed prepared. I'm usually not a procrastinator, more of an on top of it control freak, but the abstractness of all of this has stopped me in my tracks. Typically before embarking on new adventures, new hobbies, and the like, I arm myself with research. I read blogs and books until I'm blue in the face. I like facts and concrete evidence to back up my decisions and help me create plan. (Oh, how I love plans!) But this, this pregnancy, this baby coming whether I'm ready or not, has thrown me for a loop. Maybe it's because there's just sooo much information out there. Because everywhere you turn there's an argument for co-sleeping and an argument against it. Vaccines are necessary, vaccines are the devil! Never wake a sleeping baby, wake them every 3 hours! It's maddening.
I learned early on that the forums were a no-no. That only negative trolls hang out there and love nothing more than sharing their horror stories and scaring you to death. (Cramping? It's placental abruption!) The sooner I logged off, the more in tune I felt with myself. As for pregnancy and baby books, I've half read a few. (A quick search on Amazon proves there are 147 books on newborn sleep alone! Ain't nobody got time for that.) My sweet little nugget has taught me so much already. I'm much more "live in the moment" than ever before. At first I loved the idea of sleeping/feeding/playing schedules (so me! so structured!) and then I saw real mom's and babies in action and realized "yeah right". I've accepted that she's going to come into this world kicking and screaming with her own fiery personality. She'll be handed over to us to love and nurture and meet all her basic needs. I'll have no idea what type of soothing she'll like, when she'll like to doze, or what her "I'm hungry" cry will sound like compared to her "I'm just needy" cry. Setting us up by the book seems like a recipe for frustration, at least until we get to know each other a little first.
So for this, biggest adventure of our lives, I'm utterly unprepared. But that's my plan.
(Don't worry, we fully intend to acquire some of the basics: bathing, diaper changing, installing a car seat properly, etc. What are we, unfit parents?? ;)
What else is new is p-town? (That's pregnancy town if you're not down with my lingo.) Well....
- She minds so well already. At night, her movements get really strong, to the point where it's sometimes uncomfortable for me. One evening, after watching me squirm for a bit, Alex put his hand on the trouble spot (always just underneath my right rib) and said, "Baby, please stop hurting your mama." And see it or believe it, she did. Such a good girl!
- She hiccups on command! (Ok, she did it just once, but it was awesome.) Alex was out of town last weekend when I felt them for the first time. A few days later we were playing with her before bed (which means we're poking and rubbing and seeing how she responds) when I said, "I wish she would get the hiccups again so you could feel it, it's so funny." and almost instantly I felt those jerk-jerk-jerks. Amazeballs.
- I had another growth spurt this week, gaining a few pounds rather than the average one. I hear that's the norm from here on out...
- Husband pajama's make the best maternity pj's. Thanks, babe. And yes, this is your t-shirt.
- We had our maternity pictures made (sneak peek above and here!) and chose the site of our summer walkabouts as the backdrop. Aside from being super talented, Hannah is just the sweetest! Can't wait to see the rest.
Have a happy week!